Who is Birdman’s Real Father

By: Birdman

Over the years, I have had a hard time coming to grips with my childhood, my personality,and my problems. Sometimes late at night when nobody is looking I shed a silent tear. I'm sad because I do not know who my father is and have no idea what happened to him. So in order to find him, I've chosen a criteria that is based on a loosely thought out plan. I will look for men in there 50's who have my great ...

How to Make People Feel Sorry For You

By: Seahorse

Three years ago i wrote a provocative piece about the art of obtaining sympathy through the use of a wheelchair. Since that time i have received numerous responses, some of which have banned me from volunteering at the special Olympics. Others have informed me that i have been condemned by churches of varying faiths...and some told me that i was no longer their son. These responses aside there were others who let me know just how important my article was ...

What It Feels Like to Make $30,000 a Year

By: Birdman

Up to now, I've never disclosed how much money I make. First, because my mother told me it isn't nice to do so. But more importantly, because I don't want to make people feel bad about making so much less than I do. In the past, I've hinted at the ways I make money, so with that, let's get started. In this post, I would like to provide a glimpse into the privileges bestowed upon me and people like me who have incomes in the stratosphere or more commonly known as the top 1%. I make so much money, capital one credit card pays me 2% cash back on gas and groceries and 1% cash back on all other purchases. I make so much money, I don't have to pay my taxes, they give me money back each year just for living here. I ...

5 Things You Can Do To Keep Up Appearances

By: Birdman

In these tough economic times, many people have lost their jobs, lost their savings, and along with it any sense of meaning to themselves and others. There are little things we can do though to keep up appearances as if nothing at all has happened. Follow these five rules and you might not have to go begging Obama for a bailout. 1. Carry a wad of $1's- I usually use this trick to impress the ladies, but it can also fool most people. Get yourself as much money as you can scrape together, change them all into 1 dollar bills except for the biggest denomination you have. A 50 works great, but a 20 will do in most cases , now wrap the big bill around the ones and it looks like you have a lot of money. I used ...

How I Make $1000 an Hour While Drinking Beer All Day

By: Birdman

I was at the end of my rope, literally. I was standing on a chair with a noose around my neck ready to jump and end it all. I then decided to check my email one more time and low and behold there in my inbox was the answer to my prayers! Like most everyone else I went to college, worked hard, got married, had a couple of kids, and even managed to have a honey on the side, things were good. I pursued the American dream and I was within arms reach of getting it. One day the company I worked for got sent to Mexico and I was out of a job and broke. I played by the rules, this wasn't supposed to happen. I considered moving to Mexico with the company, but decided against it as I ...

Make Money “Finding” Lost Pets

By: Birdman

Ever notice those posters up on bulletin boards in supermarkets, libraries, and other neighborhood-type places where people post their lost pet fliers? Well, most of them have some reward offered, here is a perfect opportunity to make some extra money. Right about now you might be thinking to yourself, "damn it, it sounds like a good idea, but I don't have time to go around looking for lost dogs and cats!" Well, did you think I was actually going to go through all that work myself too? No way, I found 3 ways to "recover" someone's pet without actually finding it. Let me explain. The first way to find a "lost" pet is going to the local animal shelter. Take with you the flier so you have positive identification of the pet. Now, chances are the actual lost pet found its way ...

How to Make Money, lots of it.

By: Birdman

Do you want to be as rich as the old guy in this picture? After all, he did get his picture on money because at the time, he was the wealthiest man on the planet and he owned a money making factory where he put his face on all the 1 dollar bills. It's green, it has old guy's faces on it, and it is packed full of bacteria and viruses, but yet, we all want more of it. No, it's not brocolli.... yes it's money. We have heard it all before, go to college to get a good job, work a little harder, start your own business,...join the Anthony Robbins cult and sacrifice chickens in the name of motivation. But what does it really take to make money? Our research team, which is comprised of 8 economists and MBA's from ...