The Idiots Guide To Life

So where exactly did the bunch from classmates.com end up? Are the rumors that those two actually hooked up and had 6 kids true? No sorry. The truth has been disguised through fancy advertising, the reality of the situation is much less controversial.

The couple made famous by having their mugs paraded around in millions of website impressions have a colorful story to tell.

The couple as they are commonly known, had a rocky relationship from the start. Shortly after graduating high school, Bill (the guy) went on a 4 week drinking rampage, it was the senior party that never ended for him. Beth, the ugly chick he hooked up with seen in this photo went running home and sobbed herself into a pill-popping binge eating suicide mission. As she lay in a pool of her own vomit one morning, Bill walked into her bedroom and in a raspy voice which wreaked of whiskey said, “come on Beth, it’s time to get you cleaned up, you look like a filthy tramp”.

She was so happy to see him, she ignored the comment and hugged him tightly. They walked out of the house and never looked back. Their story ended 5 years later in divorce when Bill cheated on beth with Becky, the one in the left side of the banner ad. Beth eventually found the love of her life on eharmony.com

Next is Becky. After graduating high school, Becky decided that being the pretty girl could have its rewards. She stopped posting her pictures in classmates.com and started a dating empire. Becky currently responds via email to thousands of single men looking for dates on craigslist and myspace.

Lastly we have Bob. Bob was the quiet one, after high school he took a job as a fish thrower in the Seattle area. He never really did have much luck with the ladies, so he decided to look online. Currently he’s looking through thousands of offers for “dates and much more”. He says he’s going to take his time going through them until he finds the right one, “I wish I would of known about the interweb sooner, women are practically throwing themselves at me”, he says.

So you wanna become a police officer huh? Well, strap on a gun, get the billy club ready and read on, because you’ll be taking down perps (perpetrators) in no time.

The first rule about being a cop is; ‘Don’t even trust your own shadow’

Police work is dangerous business and being a softy just ain’t going to cut it. Let’s look at an example, this happened to a rookie friend of mine years ago.

It was a rainy night, Cassleberry (my partner) had been on the beat for barely a week, oh yeah this kid was green. We parked outside a diner where we were regulars. I stood outside leaned up against the cruiser with one leg propped up sucking on a Marlboro red. I had told the kid to grab us a couple of cups of Joe, I knew it would be a long night, my gut was telling me we were going to be shoulder deep in shit soon. As I smoked my cigarette, I leaned my head back and looked up at the stars I softly said, “God, why am I stuck with this idiot tonight?”

Just as Cassleberry was walking out of the diner carrying two cups and a pastry bag of God knows what, a hail of bullets rained down on him. The last words I heard from that poor sap were “hey sarge, I got you those strawberry short cakes you li…” he was DOA (dead upon hitting the pavement). The stupid bastard never knew what hit him. Being used to such acts of random violence I casually threw my cigarette butt to the ground and smashed it with my Chippewa Limited Edition American Bison Snip Toe Motorcycle Boots.

I took cover by running to a nearby alley, as soon as I had some cover I lit another cigarette. I peeked out the corner of the building when a bullet grazed me, time to rock and roll. I pulled out my Jennings j 9 MM and went to work, I’m a modest person who doesn’t like to brag, but that night I performed better than anyone I had ever seen out in the field.

When all was said and done and I was staring down at the corpse of my partner, I felt a swell of anger rise in me. I realized then that that could be me lying there like a worthless piece of crap-no good rookie cop. But instead I was the one who survived to tell the story and save the day once again. In a weird way, God answered my prayer that night. And as I said in the beginning, you can’t even trust your own shadow, much less a partner.

MC Electric chair is a dangerous individual who has been on a stabbing spree for months. Birdman a hardened cop by years of watching horrors with his own eyes has set his site on catching this perp.

Okay so I thought Donald Barret was kevin trudeu’s right hand man and stick in the mud. But I was wrong it seems that Don Barret already has a rap sheet that’s well worth mentioning. Here is a copy of the press release from the federal trade commission against him.

Apparently he was selling “Supreme Green Cancer Cure Formula”. Wow, people are actually stupid enough to buy a “cancer cure” from an infomericial? I think they deserve to get ripped off.

What’s even more flagrant is Barret standing there and promoting this stuff. How do you sleep at night?

Dude, we here at whatidiots.com are admitted scumbags but offering a “cancer cure’ of any type is just wrong.

I must say, I am entertained with the exchange between Barrett and Trudeu. Barret plays the part of infomercial journalist asking insanely stupid questions. Watching these two idiots does wonders to cure a hangover.

Let me just point out one thing that is listed in that stupid book “More Natural Scams I don’t Want you to find out about”. Okay you ready? Wear only white clothes while at home . Huh? How the hell does the color of cotton help cure my liver cirrosis? Wait a second! I think the white clothes thing can be used in conjunction with my post about about starting a new religion.

Here is a sampling of some shall we say not so happy customers.

Please God, don’t let it be true. Don’t allow this has been washed up arrogant piece of crap to ruin another icon of TV.

Here is the word from TMZ …

I really hope it isn’t true.