Desperate in Wichita

Dear Whatidiots.com,

Recently my husband was on a business trip and upon his return, I found a pair of pink panties in his luggage. Needless to say they were not mine. When I confronted him about this, he fessed up and admitted to having a one night stand with a waitress from the restaurant where his business meeting was being held. Whatidiots.com, I don’t know what to do, I have so many feelings right now, please help.
Desperately confused in Wichita

Dear Desperate,

On behalf of your husband I would like to say, this is an obvious cry for help on his part. There is no waitress and there was no one night stand. It’s quite clear that he is wanting you to lose weight. Without having seen any picture of you I’d say you are about 5 ‘ 7″ 260 lbs, you probably have some Peter Pan haircut and rarely wear make up. The panties were put in the suitcase for you to find. Do yourself a favor and lay a pair of your underwear down on your bed ….than lay the pink panties on top. That is how much weight he wants you to lose…..and what better way to motivate you than to have you believe there is another woman. So relax….but not too much …if you want to lose that fat and keep your husband.

Hope this answers your troubled heart,

Whatidiots.com

Seahorse

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