How to be an Idiot at a Toll Booth

toll booth willy

If you’re like me and live in Florida, you know that expressways, turnpikes, bridges, and just about everywhere you can imagine are filled with tolls. Tolls generally add to the nightmare of South Florida traffic and so they are basically a big pain in the ass.

Now, you couple that with the idiots that use them on a day to day basis and you see how quickly a situation can go from crappy to all out eat a bullet nightmare. So if you are one of the idiots that holds up traffic, read closely because I’m calling you out…yeah you know who you are.

If you are someone who wants to become one of these idiots at the toll booth, then pay very close attention.

  • Always wait to the last possible moment to take out your money to pay. Having it in the deepest pocket or in the bottom of your purse helps to delay you.
  • Pay with a credit card for a .75 toll , it takes longer to pay with a credit card. Hopefully it will be maxed out.
  • When you have payed, sit there and ask for directions. Remember you paid them, now it’s time to get your money’s worth.
  • If someone honks at you, turn around and look at the person honking their horn at you like they owe you money.
  • If other cars persist, get out of your car and make some arm gestures, it will signal to them that you have been working expeditiously to pay your toll and move on, but the toll collector is really the one that is holding you up.
  • Finally, get in your car and look at everyone through the rear view mirror and seath with rage.

I wrote this with the intention of making you laugh, the sad thing is is that this really happened to me 🙂

Birdman

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