How to Pick Up Women- Tip #1

cigaretteThere are many ways to pick up a woman, here I will point out one of many which should work if you’re willing to go out on a limb. For this particular tip on how to pick up a woman, we will use three things, to get her to fall in love or at the very least take us home tonight (yeah her place, remember you’re still bumming a free stay at your friend’s place).

First, we will be her knight in shining armor coming to rescue her. All women fall for this no matter how much they deny it. The problem with this scenario is that you usually have to wait around for something to happen in order to come to her rescue. In our scenario, we will create the perfect circumstance for this to happen. Which leads us to our second point, terrorism.

Second, we will use terrorism to get her attention. Don’t go crazy calling the FBI, I’m not talking about carrying out an actual attack, I’m talking about playing on people’s fear of one.

In order for this to work, you first have to find the women you’re interested in. Preferably she should smoke. Before heading her way, make sure you have cigarettes on you and make sure you bought cigarrette loads, you know those little things you stick in the front end of the cigarette and they explode when you lite up.

So know you’re at the bar, you see the hot chick you want to talk to, you sit right next to her and say “how bout you and I smoke one together?” You pull one out for her (the one you prepared with the cigarette load) and one for yourself. You light hers first, and discretely put yours away (you won’t be able to run with a lit cigarette). Okay here’s where we score, on the first or second drag she takes, the cigarette load should go off with a minor pop sound. That’s your cue: at the top of your lungs scream “we’re under attack from AL-Qaeda!!” then you smother her in order for her to avoid seeing that there really isn’t anything going on and say something like “don’t worry I’ll save you from this nightmare”. Then grab her and throw her over your shoulder in a fireman’s carry. This has two benefits: One you get to feel her up and two, you get her out of there quicker which means you’ll be in bed with her sooner.

Now, it takes a bit of charm and bravado to pull this one off, but if you follow my plan step by step you’ll be scoring big time. Keep coming back for more tips on picking up chicks.

Birdman