Instantly Know if Someone is a Douchebag When They Do This

Chad Douchebag

I don’t own nor do I care to own the rights to this image. I found it as a top result when I searched for douchebag.

As the sun glistens off his Axe greased hair, Chad adjusts his white framed sunglasses on his nose. The crowd of people at the party reflecting off his shades, he smiles. Corona in hand he makes his way across the patio, as a girl comes walking towards him, he makes a haphazard attempt at moving out of the way while raising his Corona in the air and looking down through his glasses, lips perched in a “whoah, excuse me” expression, he takes the opportunity to rub “The Captain” against her passing thigh.

With his ‘com-pa-drays” having witnessed the smooth move, they start whistling and cat calling, egging him on. As he strolls into his group of friends, one of who has already slept with his girlfriend, and the other who made a successful pass at Chad’s mom at a summer party last year, Chad bro-fists his bros in a sign of triumph.

You see, Chad and his friends are what people refer to as Douchebags. Individuals like Chad are clearly douchebags, but we asked ourselves, what about the ones that are not wearing white framed sunglasses and have fake tans, how can we spot them?

We have provided the following checklist as a way to help identify douchebags, of course, this is not an exhaustive list, so by all means, please post other suggestions in the comment section.

  1. Has truck nuts on their vehicle -extra points if they have a “no fear” decal too
  2. Wears anything from Ed Hardy or Affliction
  3. Wears popped collars
  4. Has a barbed wire tattoo
  5. If they wear their hat sideways
  6. Sports a fedora and is under the age of 60
  7. Wearing rosary beads-especially if it hangs outside
  8. Has a tattoo that says ‘no surrender” or some other nonsensical saying
  9. chin strap beard

  10. Sports a chin strap beard or any other “design” with facial hair
  11. People who always try to “one-up” you when talking to them. Example, “hey man, I had the worst cold last week, I felt like shit” Douchebag friend says ” OH YEAH, WELL I HAD THE EBOLA VIRUS BUT I JUST DRANK VODKA AND IT WENT AWAY”
  12. If they have “dropped” their car, meaning, they have cut the coil springs or removed leaf springs.

Honestly, the list is too long for a page post and I haven’t updated this blog in almost four years so this is as much as you’re going to get.

Please help douchebags come to a moment of self-realization by sharing this post on your favorite social media.

Birdman

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