Make Money “Finding” Lost Pets

dog with glassesEver notice those posters up on bulletin boards in supermarkets, libraries, and other neighborhood-type places where people post their lost pet fliers? Well, most of them have some reward offered, here is a perfect opportunity to make some extra money.

Right about now you might be thinking to yourself, “damn it, it sounds like a good idea, but I don’t have time to go around looking for lost dogs and cats!” Well, did you think I was actually going to go through all that work myself too? No way, I found 3 ways to “recover” someone’s pet without actually finding it. Let me explain.

The first way to find a “lost” pet is going to the local animal shelter. Take with you the flier so you have positive identification of the pet. Now, chances are the actual lost pet found its way into some Chinese restaurant’s fried rice, and not the animal shelter…but that’s a story for another day. What you can find in an animal shelter is dozens of exact replicas of the lost pet. I mean honestly can you tell the difference between this German Shepard and that German Shepard? Now before you start telling me that this is a dishonest thing to do, think for a moment about what you are doing. You are in essence, bringing back a lost family member to a family, and if it takes a similar looking dog to do the trick than so be it.
Here are some tips about the animal shelter:

* Don’t let anyone see the flier of the lost pet, they might get suspicious
* Take a senior citizen with you for a discount in the animal shelter, so remember grandma
* If the dog you chose doesn’t reply to the lost dog’s name or is under weight, for example , simply tell the owners “he’s been lost…seems to be a little distraught to me. (don’t worry in no time the dog will become accustomed to his new home and name, cats are easier in this regard…they don’t listen to anybody anyway)

If you absolutely cannot find an almost identical looking pet to the lost one , then we have to go to plan B.

Plan B involves some creativity and luck. Here’s the scenario: You see a poster for a lost Dalmatian, you go to the animal shelter and there were none, what do you do? Easy. You find the next best thing…a completely white dog and magic marker in those spots. You might be asking, why not use spray paint? Well, for one, that has fumes that can be dangerous to the animal, and secondly, magic markers are a little more humane. See the example below on how to do this.
Fake Dalmation
And finally if you have no other options on the table , then a pet costume is your last resort. It’s more convincing than you might think and the owners might be willing to believe it , if that means they’ll get their pet back. See the example below on how to turn a doberman pincher into a poodle. All you need is a disguise kit and a little black spray paint for the face and that’s all. For other breeds, you have to get creative…for example, if you need a Chihuahua, you might consider getting a sewer rat and dressing him up with a tan leather outfit.

poodle outfit

I hope the advice here leads you to a successful career as a pet detective, and remember you’re not deceiving anyone, you’re simply giving back to them the pets they loved but lost. Even if they aren’t exactly the same ones.

Birdman

3 Comments

  1. This was so funny, I will take your advice and I will become a pet detective. You guys are the most funniest of the all internet. I praise your work!

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  2. Lol!! This was hilaripus at fist i was like no way people do this. Than I saw piucture of “before and after” i laughed so hard… omg LOL

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