The Kwik Stop Resort

vacation picturesConsidering the economic turmoil that is engulfing our country, I thought I would take some time out from my secret underground martial arts to the death tournaments. I want to offer a cost effective way of planning a travel trip or vacation without having to go too far. A little gem I have hidden in my back pocket whenever I want to take a vacation but can’t afford to is go to your nearest kwik stop.

Here’s a list of why your kwik stop may be better than going on some long expensive vacation:

1. You’ll get to see at least one foreigner and he’s usually behind the counter.
2. Exotic foods abound; I’ve found kwik stop’s that serve pigs feet in vinegar and http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/4c/Picklegegg.JPG/75px-Picklegegg.JPGpickled eggs, what can you find? Make it into a game and have your kids find the grossest thing.
3. You can relax with a wide selection of cigarettes and beer, also some of the finest wines such as Cisco are served.
4. Gambling: Most every convenience store has lotto or scratch offs. If you find one that has a digital slot machine you may be able to work something out with the owner and get paid real money for hitting 777.
5. Entertainment: Many Kwik Stops offer a wide variety of adult films behind the black curtain in the side room. If that’s not your thing, many have a cctv security monitor you can watch.
6. Finally, like in most tourist destinations you will be ripped off with outrages prices.

After thoughts

Going to a kwik stop is also a very secure thing, for example if you get mugged which you probably will there are always western union machines in the store where family members can send you money. The best part of the day to plan your trip is from 10am-2pm, this way you can avoid the line of tourists going to and from work.

Anyway, that’s all for now! Bonvoyage!

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Birdman

3 Comments

  1. As an environmentalist, I think your tip on traveling to a local kwik stops for a vacation can do more to stop global warming than all of Al Gore’s conferences put together.

    We applaud you in your efforts to save mother earth. If everyone were like you we would live in a beautiful utopia.

    Earth Bless You

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