What It Feels Like to Make $30,000 a Year

advicewiggerUp to now, I’ve never disclosed how much money I make. First, because my mother told me it isn’t nice to do so. But more importantly, because I don’t want to make people feel bad about making so much less than I do. In the past, I’ve hinted at the ways I make money, so with that, let’s get started.

In this post, I would like to provide a glimpse into the privileges bestowed upon me and people like me who have incomes in the stratosphere or more commonly known as the top 1%.

I make so much money, capital one credit card pays me 2% cash back on gas and groceries and 1% cash back on all other purchases.

I make so much money, I don’t have to pay my taxes, they give me money back each year just for living here.

I make so much money, my groceries are taken to my car for me. Btw, in the grocery store, I’m even asked if I want money back when I’m done paying….I say yeah, I need $600 only to screw with them since I know they don’t have that much in the register. Booya!

I make so much money, I’m referred to as “Mr.” on all my mail.

I make so much money, when I ride in airplanes I’m usually given the seat right by the bathroom that way I don’t have to walk far to go.

When I’m at home, I could even order movies right from my TV.

Anyway, I hope this clears up some of the mystery surrounding the super rich. We’re just like everyone else, except we have lots of money. For example, if I really wanted to, I can afford to eat out everyday.

But I’m not like that, I like to stay humble.

Birdman

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