Over the years, I have had a hard time coming to grips with my childhood, my personality,and my problems. Sometimes late at night when nobody is looking I shed a silent tear. I’m sad because I do not know who my father is and have no idea what happened to him.
So in order to find him, I’ve chosen a criteria that is based on a loosely thought out plan.
I will look for men in there 50’s who have my great hair and a mustache. Also, they have to be people that are famous or well known since I’m an internet celebrity it makes sense that my father would be a recognizable face.
The first person who comes to mind as my possible father is Carlos Santana. He is a talented musician with traits that resemble Birdman.
The second contender who I think is also a viable candidate for my fathership is another musician. This one is Willie Colon, although, he may be the weakest candidate yet, since he is not wearing any sunglasses, I doubt he’s my dad. But it would explain why Birdman is fluent in Puerto Rican.
Third is Frank Zappa, he has the hair, the glasses, and the mustache. However, that little fuzz under his bottom lip is not characteristic of Birdman.
Yet again we are forced to consider a musician, this one being one of the most overrated rock stars of alltime, Gene Simmons. I hope to God that Gene Simmons is not my father, because he is quite possibly one of the worst musicians to have ever rocketed to stardom. Besides, his sporadic mustache is very weak. However, his arrogance is similar to Birdman’s self confidence..so there is a small chance he may be dad.
Finally we come to the person who I think may be my real father, Moammar Gadhafi. I know I know, he’s supposedly a bad guy, but really, would a real bad guy wear all the cool outfits that Gadhafi sports?
Other reasons why Gadhafi may be my father:
- He’s a renowned world leader
- He only has women as bodyguards
- He’s humble, he never wanted to rank higher than a Colonel
- He brings a giant Bedouin tent during diplomatic visits for meetings
- Even shipped a camel as well, to provide ambiance
So there you have it, the high likelihood that Gadhafi is my father. As much as I want to bond with him, I think I’m going to stay in the states for now, Tripoli is going through some growing pains and I don’t want to ruin it for dad.